The problem is not the job, the circumstances, the people, the money, or the past. The problem is you. When you understand that, you can stop waiting for any person, place, or thing to free you.
Make no mistake: blame is coming to steal the rest of your life. It excuses you by reminding you of how the world has done you wrong. But blame and self-pity are nothing more than a hamster wheel. So, choosing them is a waste of your life.
The biggest problem in your life is your fearful, prideful nature. It keeps you from telling yourself the truth about where you are. The truth about how you got here. The truth about the fact that you are going to die. There isn’t an endless amount of time for you to fail yourself in the exact same ways.
When you lean into magical thinking, believing it will hold you up, don’t be surprised when you fall fast to the hard concrete. By definition, magic is a disappearing act, an illusion. Ask yourself why you smack your head, but then stand up and do it again. And again. And again.
You grow up when you give up. When you can see that none of it worked – not the money, romance, numbing agents, achievement, people pleasing, rage, houses, cars. Nothing worked. You grow up when you have nothing more on which to project a savior.
Growing up happens when you’re in enough pain to say, “OK, I will deal with who I am, head-on, come hell or high water, no matter what. I will look at where I’m at and reckon with my responsibility for it. I will deal with all the disappointments, losses, and failures. I will deal with the army of fear-mongers who are running and ruining my life. I will wrangle my ridiculous ego and eternal adolescent. I will own my consequences. Me. No one and nothing else. I will change.”
To grow up, you have to prioritize reality over fantasy. To experience real life, you must immerse yourself in facts instead of fiction.
Your only option now is to commit your entire being – ego, mind, personality, spirit – to the truth. Reality can bear the weight of your future. There will be a foundation beneath your pursuits. A dance floor. It will never give out.
The only home left to return to is inside yourself. That is where you meet God. Everything you ever wanted is a byproduct.
Quote: For, after all, you do grow up, you do outgrow your ideals, which turn to dust and ashes, which are shattered into fragments; and if you have no other life, you just have to build one up out of these fragments. — Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Song Accompaniment: Gotta Serve Somebody, Bob Dylan
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Artwork: The Art of Seth
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