How to Overcome Self-Sabotage

Hopelessness is self-reliance. You experience it when the emotional consequences of life are more than you can manage. The ego limits the psychic impact of loss by giving up hope for change.

When reality knocks at the door, your ego is the bouncer turning it away. Its job is to sustain your delusions at all costs. It feeds on isolation and fear. When the ego tells you that your suffering is unique, you start to believe that no one else experiences such depths of despair. Concluding that you are different separates you from human connection and weakens your spirit.

When the risk of disappointment makes hope intolerable, it manifests as self-sabotage. The fruit of success is too scary. It threatens to poison you with the unfamiliar. As you start to get what you want, the ego goes straight to “What if I lose it?” So, you cut off the source of the present good feeling to prevent future disappointment. When your self-sabotage succeeds, you tell yourself, “I’m not disappointed. I knew that would happen. It always does.” And the reason it always goes wrong is because that is all you can tolerate. Sabotaging your happiness weakens your spirit.

You can waste a lifetime in “if only” and “what if.” The impossibility of perfection makes overthinking an easy place to hide. As a self-saboteur, you opt for hyper-analysis in place of love. Over-engaging your intellectual power feels safe. It shuts down your heart. You dissect your psychology so you can redirect the risk of hurt away from your sensitivity and toward your brain. You trade satisfying love for the familiarity of emotional distress to avoid vulnerability. Denying your vulnerability weakens your spirit.

To refuse a potential downside by cutting off the upside is to reject life itself. If you can’t risk the love of one disappointing you, you must limit the love you receive from all. The only way to cut off the love flowing to you is to cut off the love flowing from you. So, you respond to offers of love by becoming unloving. Withholding love weakens your spirit.

God-centered decision-making is an antidote to hopelessness. Making decisions unleashes a tide of Universal Power that renders the egoic personality irrelevant. To reignite hope, you must overcome your current circumstances by changing how you relate to your spirit, not your ego.

Hopeful decision-making is more effective than dreadful self-sabotage. When you choose hope, periods of joy, freedom, and love offset your disappointments. Deciding to be self-supporting instead of sabotaging strengthens your spirit. Work with an Infinite Intelligence rather than a limited, intellectualizing, trauma brain. Break up with the most abusive partner you’ve ever been with – your victim identity. Invoking all the solutions of the Unified Field strengthens your spirit.

Every choice has life or death in it. Decide to trust God. Decide to let your guard down and have faith. Decide to tolerate suffering and refuse to destroy yourself over it. Reopen the road to your heart. Choosing to make spiritually guided decisions is choosing to live.

Go head to head with the risk of failure. Become willing to win and ready to succeed. Detach from what you stand to lose. Decide to look at possibility more than impossibility and to give it more weight. Choosing to change your perspective strengthens your spirit.

Without stable, consistent love, your brain can never rewire for healthy connections. It can never learn to expect love and trust before disappointment. Fire the fear-mongering thoughts that build structures of self-reliance in your mind. Choosing to give and expect love strengthens your spirit.

You prevent the past from becoming the future by creating a higher-quality present. Disappointment, grief, and loss will appear at your door. It’s unavoidable. You can face it alone or in the safety of a connected life that loves, protects, and serves you. Decide to experience love, knowing it lives alongside the experience of loss. Choose to live while knowing you are going to die.

Song Accompaniment: Brandi Carlile, Wasted

Artwork: The Art of Seth

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