Obsessive accomplishment is the great fake-out. In a society that worships at the altar of productive success, there’s nothing quite like achievement to keep people off your back. Success provides a means of interacting with the world that removes the emotional risk. It’s a place to hide your pain, feelings of inadequacy, and past. It provides a means of garnering external value that compensates for the lack of any internal esteem or spiritual resources. The more you achieve, the less vulnerable you are to the pain of having your self-doubt exposed.
Society has taught us well that if someone is successful, they must, by definition, have it all together. People leave you alone when you get good at using accomplishment as an emotional guard dog. They can’t pick up the scent of your vulnerability. You are left feeling isolated and disillusioned, wondering why no one comes to your emotional aid when you’re in obvious need of support. It’s because the part you are playing is so entrenched and well-built that it’s not apparent to others that you need help. The mask of your accomplishment does its job so well that it is mistaken for your face.
Fear-fueled accomplishment has such force and energy behind it that it often leads to financial success. A culture that disregards expressions of struggle from anyone with money might mock or minimize your hardships altogether because it assumes that cash solves everything. It’s a reverse stereotyping that calms our fears of inadequacy. We accept and encourage it in ways we wouldn’t if someone were on the opposite end of the socioeconomic spectrum. It’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the power of money that confuses it for unending utopia.
The problem for the overachiever is that your compulsive accomplishment is camouflaging self-loathing and insecurity. And, when it’s your sole source of value, you can never stop running because, like any addiction, over time, you will need more and more accomplishment just to feel mediocre. Inadequacy is always at your heels, ready to pass and then trip you. If you had a felt sense of your inherent value, your focus would be on creating rather than accomplishing.
True self-worth, an inner strength that allows you to rest, is not something that you can measure by accomplishments or external validation. It’s cultivated within, nurtured by the quiet fulfillment that comes from a deep connection to spirit—a connection to God. When you root your sense of self in creative and spiritual gifts, you understand that your worth is not in what you do or how others see you but simply who you are at your core, who you are as Creation. You realize that you are already whole. This divine knowing allows you to live freely, unburdened by the need for external approval, and grounded in the Truth of what it means to be gifted.
Quote: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.—Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV)
Song Accompaniment: Tim McGraw, Humble and Kind
Artwork: The Art of Seth
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The universe is power. So are you.